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| Blogs > miz_attitude > The Truth About Attitude |
my butt exercises or how to kill a subby
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my butt exercises or how to kill a subby sitting here looking over blogs i figured i will jump on my own band wagon and be my own happy self LOL .... sooooooo in thinking this i decided i would write about my first time using a tens unit ... although i have been involved in BDSM from about 19 (without knowing it had a name) i did not really find out about BDSM until i was in my late 30's .... let me tell you when i heard a tens unit was a play toy i almost passed out remembering the time my cousin , or the bitch as i fondly refer to her now , showed me her husbands tens unit and showed me how it worked ... picture two women sitting in a kitchen with mugs of coffee gossiping about everything and anything cause well thats what me and the cuz did ... so as we are chatting the are flipping through tv channels and it shows this thing on tv that you can hook up to yourself and it will tighten all your muscles with no exercise ~hehe~ yup two coffee guzzling gossiping women you can well imagine exercise is the furtherest thing from our minds ... but damn could we really get our bodies back with NO and i mean zero zilch notta for effort ??? OMG i am so in .... we quickly took away the tv remote and sat watching for a few mins when my cuz jumped up and said OMG i have something like that lemme show you ... handing the remote back to the we take off down the hall to her room and she unpacks the magic muscle maker thing .... i am in heaven woo hoo i never have to exercise all the extra weight from baby is just going to melt away and i will have my ass back up where it belongs instead of resting against the back of my knees ... so we sit and head to head we peer over the pages of the instructions manual seems straight forward and easy enough just stick these lil white doohickeys to the skin plug em in and turn on the machine ... kewl i am so game and volunteer to try it out .... so after thinking it over i decide i really want my ass back up where it goes cause well track pants are getting boring ya know ... so i put these things all over my ass making sure they are stuck above and below muscles after all we want this to work in the shortest amount of time possible right?? so now i am standing all ready to go wires coming out the tops of my pants and plugged into the tens unit ... i was a lil anxious and wondering what it would feel like but slowly i turned it on and then felt the muscles in my ass jump ... i think i actually giggled but things are a bit foggy all i can clearly remember is this is where my fav cuz become this sadistic bitch from hell ...i am standing in her bedroom butt cheeks jumping all by themselves and it kinda tickles so giggling away and all happy but then i notice it is getting faster and i think i have an ass cramp ... those of you that have never experienced ass cramps BE GLAD ! all of a sudden i swear to gawd i could crack walnuts with my ass and it brought me up on my toes i sucked in my breath and my knees locked in place ... my eyes shot wide open and i think i managed to mumble what the hell cause right about then the bitch slid off the bed laughing ... i did my very best Frankenstein walk towards her threatening body and limb so she cranked the juice higher i did not think it was possible but i swear my ass cheeks were clenched so tight together they started to exchange places on my body .... just when i think i am going to die and the paramedics won't need a stretcher to remove my stiff body she turns the power down and i can once again stand flat footed and breathe almost normally ... glaring at her i start towards the tens unit and realize this is a mistake she cranks that baby to high voltage and my ass cheeks slam together tighter then even before .... i am immediately thrown up on my tippy toes as my ass muscles pull my calf muscles up somewhere into my back my brain is getting fuzzy and i am desperately trying to figure out how to get away ... waiting for her to let up on the power i decide i will rip the lil sticky pads off my ass next time she lets up ... slowly i feel the power easing off a bit and i come down off tip toes again ... i am glaring at her and calling her names that are really not suitable for mixed company as i try to rip the sticky pads off , OMG i think she used crazy glue on them cause i pulled and pulled and they were going nowhere when i started telling her how i was going to kill her and hide the body she let me know that i had not hit full power but now i was going to taste it ... oh gaaaaaaaawd the only thing i could taste was my teeth as i ground them to a fine powder while my ass knotted itself into one huge lump and i stood like a ballerina on the tips of my toes ... i was trying to yell at her to stop but all i could do was say something that came out sounding like unnnnnnngh i watched through watery eyes as that cow fell over on the bed laughing like there was no tomorrow kind of swaying my upper body i had my arms flying and swinging and i was grunting out unnnng unnnnnng which now i realize did not help my situation but i needed to do something ... finally she turned it off and as i fell on the bed whimpering the wires came unplugged and i was free free free .... if i could have unclenched my ass i would have run but my ass was in coconut cracking mode and was not loosening up for anything ... so finally i was able to stand up and swear at her and threaten to come back when i could move properly and hook her up to it ... she didn't seem scared by the way .. anyhow i learned my lesson i will never again try to take the easy way out when it comes to exercise and i kinda like my ass bouncing off the back of my knees now , erm well ok feels better to let it hang loose then to have it coconut cracking ready ..... this by the way is a true story and i am pretty sure it is a one of a kind too ... trust me you so do not want to try this out yourselves ~mizzy~  |
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2/25/2007 6:10 pm |
ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!! OH MY GAWD LOLOLOL thats too funny... hopfully this wont be stolen eather LOL good blog as usual mizzy i LOVED it lolol =^..^=
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2/25/2007 11:42 pm |
LMAO....... i always knew you were nuts....you've confirmed it for me sis.......LOL
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2/26/2007 3:32 pm |
rofl lmao i thought i did some dumb things ,lol did kinda the same thing but with moms belt vibrater thing was a machince like a washer it had a 8inch wides strap when you turned it on it pulled back and fourth would shake you needless to say dont set it on high (for 45 min)hell thought my bum would fall off and roll on the floor
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2/26/2007 3:33 pm |
dam cant beleave i just said that dam it up there now
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3/1/2007 3:42 am |
LOL ahh thank gawd for ya sis, got to love ya
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Yikes, MsThang! One thing, you did learn. I enjoy messing with the controls; increasing the zaps. It does wonders for me. So much for easy exercise eh *w* After all the sex is gone, there is the mind - Lady Hunter / BAB Copyright © House of Lady Hunter 1998-2009 
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er Mr Innocent Sir  ... yeah it is used for doing muscle massaging LOL typically it use to be used in physiotherapy but ya know them kinkster hand them a machine that sends enough electricity through a persons body to make them walk around with their ass clenched for a month and they call it a toy  ...
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