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Blogs > trisha_ann_glynn > Bisexual by Choice.

Rules for safe sex with zombies.  

trisha_ann_glynn 51T
109 posts
10/25/2011 4:05 pm
Rules for safe sex with zombies.
Between now and post midnight October 31st, someone will have sex with a vampire, werewolf, witch, tea-bagger, pirate, or a zombie.

The "Frankenstorm" could create new horrors of the weather channel rapture, followed by the end of civilization by way of the zombie apocalypse.
It could be "The Walking Dead" type, or the "28 Days" run faster than you type!

Are you a zombie and want fuck another zombie? It does not matter.
You will not remember reading this, nor do zombies have the urge to fuck.
Only eating and digesting flesh, as sustenance.
Zombies have no carnal desire for the living or the other dead.

Are you, a living non-zombie, wanting to have sex with a zombie?
It's possible, they will be very cool of skin.
Very thin and gaunt, with a stopped in time, fashion sense.
Blank angry stare, growl, kick, scratch and bite.
Yes, just like fashion models on crack cocaine.

Top of the list, above all else.
Do not let a zombie, perform ORAL SEX on YOU!

Zombie sex will be the most aggressive, dangerous sex you ever have.
STDs remain alive as a virus and multiply in this case.
So, by all means wear a condom.

Are you a woman trying to have sex with a male zombie?
He will be in a constant state of rigormortis, which is good!
The blood in the penis will create a four hour erection.
You will have to tie him down and ride it cowgirl style.

If he starts to talk and get involved...Stop immediately.
That's not a zombie. That's Keith Richards!
Ask about Jagger, try to score concert tickets.

A living/ living/ zombie three-way is safety in numbers.
I advise against the zombie/ zombie/ living three-way.
And you alone naked, in a room full of zombies, is just stupid.
It WILL be your last orgy.

Remember zombies and walkers follow sound.
Turn up the volume on "Thriller" douse yourself with TYPE A Meat tenderizer, and let the flash-mob come to you.

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