Find BBW Hookups Now
Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
Find BBW Hookups Now
| Blogs > wickedeasy > wicked and that ain't so easy |
calling to cancel
|
calling to cancel i was calling to cancel a dinner engagement with a friend because i really just wanted to stay home and finish reading a book i'm gobbling but her voice sounded funny when she said oh sure, no problem. as we were setting another time, i asked how things were going with the and her husband and her voice broke. just the tiniest crack as she said good, good. and moved on to talk about the business we were supposed to discuss - she is a grant writer who does some work for my agency but we've moved beyond into friendship albeit not that far and so we walk a wobbly line sometimes. we hung up but i was feeling off and quickly called her back. i could hear the tears in her voice and i said K - we're meeting for dinner tonight and no business tonight, okay. she said oh god yes, okay. 6? 6. and that was all. do men do this? i was thinking about that after the call. do you just get a feeling or hear those little sounds and know you have to go no matter what? i know i have at least three men that would pick up on it but i also know that two of them would not change their plans to see me despite noticing and the third is a big question mark. one of my biggest issues with a man that i adored was that when i was hurting...i mean desperately hurting...was that instead of coming to me, coming after me, showing up, he would pull back. that i don't understand. last night i had such an odd dream, very sexual but one part was a swimming area where where were playing but they played under a platform and only came up for air in these holes. the guardian said it was for their protection. i was horrified. but he faces of the were gleeful. it made me think of all the people i know who are trapped in lives that only find air or happiness occasionally by gasping up through work or affairs or i don't know what...blogs? and when they do, this is how they stay alive/happy. i was crying when i woke up. the beginning of the dream had been so erotic and wonderful...i'm still haunted by images today. i feel on the verge of tears. and my charlie is at the groomer so the house is terribly quiet. even my ghost seems to have left. i hope my friend is okay. i hope being with her will help. sorry for the blather. You cannot conceive the many without the one. |
||||
|
I do hope that the story you'll hear from your friend is not as terrible as it COULD be, but who knows? I do think that men in general process differently than women. No Surprise there, I'm sure! First of all we tend to retreat to our caves when we hurt, where you social butterfly women get together and talk. End result is frequently the same, butit is tough to get a guy to talk about stuff, guy to guy. So your men friends who pulled back were reacting as they would instinctively want to be treated: Give me a bit of space to work thru this, then I'll come out and we can talk. Now your Charlie, male that he is, is also an intuitive soul, so he'd be right there with his nose in your hand trying to sense your pain and comfort you. We all need a dog for just that response (and the happy dance and tail wagging and etc); your soulmate dog really CAN read your mind, I know! I wish you and your friend well, WE. Chas
| |||
|
You can    ---------------------Dennis US ARMY (RETIRED) AND YOUR FRIEND  I never mean to offend(blog or comment) anyone ,If I do contact me please. Please check out my blog Harley-Davidson Drive(19harley86)
| |||
2/15/2013 8:38 pm |
No apology necessary. As one who breathes through a series of blow holes, I appreciate the aqueous nature of indeterminate relationships. Maybe I'm a dolphin.
| |||
|
oui-oui... You already know that us men don't show emotions. We just tough it out and do what is required; when it is required--usually. And there's plenty of damned good reasons for that. One of, to wit: Some months after my ex-wife left me, she came over to "discuss" certain issues of the divorce. We talked--rare occurrence in itself--and she divulged that she had wanted to whack herself... and subsequently spent 3 years in "therapy"--during the marriage! I asked her how it was that she could have been in therapy for years without me knowing it. I mean, I knew of when she had her tubes tied... and she had her teeth done... and her periods... and her car needed an oil change... and her daughter was in jail... and on... and on... and on-- 100X100. I mean-- beside her time spent bein' head-shrunk, and plenty of other factors that might have given it away (were they allowed to be exposed--Oh JESUS; you mean like as in... tell me what the fuck's going on?); like even the checkbook didn't register any doctor, clinic, or other such payments... or even cash withdrawals that could be suspected of being used to cover the costs--no mail--no phone calls--no billings--no nothing. I suppose, maybe, she was just out... "window-shopping"; which she did a lot of. Then too, she was chowin' down Welbutrin. But that was for "stopping smoking"--or so I was told... and which I did offer my opinion that she was gettin' a little out to lunch behind those piece-of-shit poison doses of psychotropic drugs. (But hey--I'm just an unemotional man; so WTF do I know--about anything?) Of course, her answer? "Well, you just didn't care!" See how that works? I just didn't care (no display of emotion was made evident)--about something I had absolutely NO KNOWLEDGE of... and wasn't about to be told of--for whatever fuckin' asinine reasoning. I guess us men are just unfeeling fuckheads, after all. Good thing we go to work every day... just so's we won't be around to exhibit any emotional outbursts that happen to creep out of us bottled-up menfolk. Logic--what a fuckin' concept! BTW: Did I mention that I'm quite happy that I am no longer married to an emotional lunatic (or is that... woman?) Why, no--no, I don't believe I did. Solar...
| |||
|
From the time we are boys we are taught to "suck it up" don't cry don't show emotions, except anger, anger is okay, anger is cool, that's what men do, break things, that's how men are supposed to vent. What it comes down to is trust. What man can we trust with our emotions? It's hard to know who we can trust with those secrets. What if we come off as less than masculine? What happens then? We are "outed" as weak, lacking in whatever it is that is supposed to make us men. All too often when a man opens up to another man, the response he gets is "Suck it up, get over it and move on." Yeah, no shit, that's what I'm trying to do. So, rather than risk the embarrassment we hold it in until it comes out as anger. I've heard stories about prostitutes and phone sex workers who will have men spill their guts to them, perfect strangers, because, oddly enough, that is where they feel safe, where they can be their true flawed self.
| |||
|
No need to apologize, and this was not blather. It was the words of a sensitive woman who recognizes when someone else needs her Check out my profile or and become a "watcher" of my blog FMAOPLS,to learn more about me, and for intelligent, lively, smartassy and fun discussion, with a little irreverence thrown in. "Like" or comment on my photos, and I promise I'll add more. Thanks.
| |||
|
'Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus' is a book written by American author and relationship counselor, John Gray. You have read it, right? Solar's story is typical from the male point of view. Women sense feelings unsaid. Men process information openly stated. I'm sure you will offer much comfort to your friend.
| |||
|
Hope your friend is OK - she is lucky to have you. Yeah...I don't really have too many people to talk to, if I get to that 'voice is about to crack' stage. I have good friends, but it seems so seldom that we are able to make the time to get together...   
| |||
|
oui... Any ranting aside: the point was that "women" don't seem to wanna actually get to the root cause of any emotional upheaval (ignoring it ain't gettin' to it.) It would seem--from my experiences--they just want us "men" to cry in our beer with 'em. (Of course, I prefer tequila--more manly that way.) Even us men gotta talk to someone--at sometime. Since we can't "talk" to women (for any number of reasons; one of which I thought was clearly pointed out in my rant... perhaps not?)... I suppose we must be talkin' to each other--or maybe we just talk to ourselves. I know I listen, and pretty intently... when I got somethin' worth sayin'--if only to the mirror; and "he" listens. Not only that... he actually understands everything I say!  BTW: I found this out when she "confided" her wanna-whack-attack dilemma--"brutal honesty" (which is when you tell your spouse--read: wife--the truth; and it don't matter what tone is used, if she don't like what she hears) is now legally considered "spousal abuse"? Who knew? And ya wonder why men don't show emotions--or even talk? I can tell ya this: ain't no "wife" gonna put me in jail for tellin' her the truth. (Sorry--I meant... for "spousal abuse".) If I tell another man the truth and he don't like it, we can always take it out to the parkin' lot. We may both end up in jail, still. But it won't be for some ridiculous she said-he said dog-jive! I'm single... and damned lucky for it, what with the fucked up society we run these days! And no--I don't get laid much. But, then again... I didn't get laid AT ALL when I was married--too much Welbutrin is my guess... or too much truth. (Sorry, again--I meant "spousal abuse".)  Solar...
| |||
|
Solar ol' boy, I can relate to what you're sayin'! My ex, God bless her departed soul, came home many nights from her nurse management position at the local hospital and would relate some story about a problem with a subordinate, a superior or a doctor. I always listened intently, fully engaged you might say. Now, fancying myself as a pretty good manager and captain of industry since I was, at the time, employed by P&G which was then regarded as one of the top ten best-managed companies in the world, I offered my advice, apparently but mistakenly perceiving that my advice was being solicited. Nope, my advice was not being solicited at all. She just wanted me to feel her pain! Fuck that! I'm a problem solver, not a confidant or a psychiatrist! Well, apparently my intention to offer helpful (and I thought sage) management advice was not greatly appreciated! Rather than appreciating my well-intended advice, she viewed it as criticism! And there you have it, Solar. 'Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars'! When I learned this, I just kept my mouth shut. When I changed my approach in this way, she began to think I was not listening to her. So you can't win, Solar! Now I just drink and argue politics with my buddies and I avoid women who want to cry on my shoulder. My buds and I seem to have an understanding.
| |||
|
MUTi... I could tell you exactly why this shit occurs--but I won't do it in this venue. I'd piss-off the 5% of the entire AFFland population who are pretty much why the other 95% are even here. On second thought, and due to the fact ain't no one around here gonna be knockin' down my door for some cock... suffice it to say: too many men are more concerned with the "pleasure" of gettin' their balls exercised than they are with enduring the "pain" of actually exercisin' their balls. And, as they say: no pain--no gain. It'll be a cold fuckin' day in hell before I ever subject myself to testiclar atrophy--again. I'd rather watch porn for the rest of my life... than tolerate hormone-driven emotional bullshit--just so's I can get laid; which seems to never work, anyway. Once you climb on that ball-less bandwagon... you ain't never gettin' any--for damned sure. Solar...
| |||
|
sometimes the person we call to cancel plans with,hurt the most from the cancellation..i do alto of cancell..i sometimes need to cave..funny thing ..i have a friend right now who is caving and i am patiently awaiting her emotion back into the lfe stream...caught between understanding and disappointment right now...but waiting as that is what a friend does,they give people the respect due...hope your dinner with that friend was hopeful or fulfilling for her and for you.. hugs my friend...for being there for her and for changing your plans back t the original dinner plans   []   Seduce my mind and my body
| |||
|
I know what is is to be haunted by images. Here's hoping that you sort through the emotional distress of the dream and figure out what it was trying to tell you. And I hope that your time with your friend is/was mutually comforting. There are men who are sensitive enough to be able to tell when something's wrong and smart enough to know not to try to "fix it" without being specifically asked for advice. I think that there is a growing awareness that a man being sensitive doesn't have to detract from his masculinity one whit. I respect a man who can cry in front of me when things are really bad for him. I respect a man who isn't made so uncomfortable by emotion that he can open his heart in empathy and share my suffering. My responsibility is not to vent endlessly, whether with my male or female friends. Shouldn't we be there for each other? I think so. Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale Her infinite variety. Other women cloy The appetites they feed, but she makes hungry Where most she satisfies. For vilest things Become themselves in her, that the holy priests Bless her when she is riggish. ~~ from Antony & Cleopatra
| |||
|
DT... This is just a hunch--  I suspect that they (women) actually use the sympathy-angle as a way to get us to back off from analyzing the problem--in their presence--and just go handle the problem (if possible) without their being directly involved. That way, if things get fucked up, we can take the . After all, we can take it... without breakin' down into a weepin' heap of Jello. And that would be just fine... if we didn't get our asses reamed for... being unsympathetic, too. Christy says: "I respect a man who isn't made so uncomfortable by emotion that he can open his heart in empathy and share my suffering." Personally, I ain't uncomfortable by a woman's emotions (or my own)--I'm uncomfortable with constantly being told I'm uncomfortable with those emotions. It gets me to thinkin' that women just don't 'feel my pain'. I got emotions and I know others got 'em. I just do my best not to let emotions run my damned life (which I have been known to fail at, ever so often--even men ain't perfect...) ...and then to piss on others' heads because they don't "feel my pain"--not in the way I would want 'em to, anyway. Now... I just don't think that sympathy/empathy has to be shown in any specific way. Those can be expressed in a number of ways, if there isn't an ulterior motive for the receiver not accepting that. But... bein' a man,I suppose I'm pretty much wrong on that count, too. Solar...
| |||
|
Wow! We certainly have a good discussion goin' now! “When a man can listen to woman's feelings without getting angry and frustrated, he gives her a wonderful gift. He makes it safe for her to express herself. The more she is able to express herself, the more she feels heard and understood, and the more she is able to give a man the loving trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval, and encouragement that he needs.” ― John Gray, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus I should've read the book before my divorce instead of after it!
| |||
|
I think men feel quite a lot of feelings, they're just used to hiding them well. You have an innate ability to feel what people are feeling without them having to speak. It's a gift you've honed from having worked the job you do for so many years. The man you spoke about is probably just afraid to help. He probably wants to but doesn't know how. I came to realize that much of how we behave as adults is a reflection of the love and caring (or lack thereof) from our parents. My father, I believe, didn't receive much affection or nurturing from his parents, which is why he didn't have a clue how to be a nurturing father or husband to my mother. He wasn't a bad man, just a bit insensitive becuase he wasn't taught how to give or show love. I think the man you cared about may have had similar issues from when he was raised. Men who are more sensitive and caring (like Solar...we know you are, ya big galoot), had parents who were loving and nurturing. But we do come from different planets, and we communicate in different ways. Men need the direct approach and they can respond with loving support when you simply ask them for it. Women don't need to do that to other women, we really are a bit more psychic in many ways and can sense when others are hurting far more easily. Your friend is definitely lucky to have you, and I sense she really needs you now. As for your dream, I think you're right about your analysis about people. I think people find many ways to put bandaids on their pain...simply because they don't get the love and nurturing they need from those closest to them...so yeah, they do spend their lives gasping for air in between the pain. Few people like to do the difficult thing of looking inside themselves to fix their broken selves because it's far easier to look at others and point fingers or dream about being someone else...problem is, it doesn't solve the problem. Bandaids come off over time, and then the injury is oftentimes more painful than if they would have cleaned up the sore spot from the start. Humans are great at covering up pain, shielding themselves from pain, and working around it. I sure hope your friend's pain is manageable...with you there to listen, I know it will help a lot. Blessings to you both...and to you, dear Solar...I wish the bruises could melt away. D
| |||
|
MUTi... Don't ya know that Gray is strung out on... female brain-chemistry? Once you let a woman express her "true" feelings (and I mean... her TRUE feelings), you'll find out real quick like that you are just a pecker-necked egg-sucker. From that point on, you're pretty much doomed... 'cause she ain't about to change her mind--at least, not when her "brain-chemistry" is outta wack; and that's also according to Gray (seems they eat way too much "protein".) BTW: I read the book--before hand (and his follow-up Mars/Venus diet-book.) When I tried to get my ex to listen to a tad from him... she laughed... and pointed right at me nekkid weener, too. Yeah, I probably deserved it, bein's how I was nekkid (I was gettin' in the shower--not her) at the time... and sportin' but a meager 4". Especially when I refered to her as a freakin' protein-laden alien life-form.  Solar...
| |||
|
Yep, Solar, I know that Gray has a Ph.D. from a liberal arts college and spent 9 years with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. That right there tells ya just about everything ya need to know about him. He ain't no alpha-male but rather a metro-sexual type of linguine-wristed sensitive guy! But he did say this and I think it is rather profound: "Imagine that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. One day long ago the Martians, looking through their telescopes, discovered the Venusians. Just glimpsing the Venusians awakened feelings they had never known. They fell in love and quickly invented space travel and flew to Venus. The Venusians welcomed the Martians with open arms. They had intuitively known that this day would come. Their hearts opened wide to a love they had never felt before. The love between the Venusians and Martians was magical. They delighted in being together, doing things together, and sharing together. Though from different worlds, they reveled in their differences. They spent months learning about each other, exploring and appreciating their different needs, preferences, and behavior patterns. For years they lived together in love and harmony. Then they decided to fly to Earth. In the beginning everything was wonderful and beautiful. But the effects of Earth's atmosphere took hold, and one morning everyone woke up with a peculiar kind of amnesia-selective amnesia! Both the Martians and Venusians forgot that they were from different planets and were supposed to be different. In one morning everything they had learned about their differences was erased from their memory. And since that day men and women have been in conflict." So why can't we just accept each other as we are and deal with it?
| |||
|
MUTi... If you don't think this "Mars/Venus" shit came straight outta hell, then you need a trip to Venus (or Mars.) As long as there are men who will buy into this crap, ain't nothing ever gonna get any better. I can't wait for them to run the world (not that they ain't already been doin' so since time began.) And to those women reading this who are thinking. 'That Solar is one "chauvinistic" fuckhead', I would say... think away. I don't really give a single flyin' turd. I gave up, long ago, tryin' to appease women. What you see is exactly what you get--an old man on a mountain top singin' wore-out country music... and damned glad that I'm doin' without sex for that one uncomplicated reason, which is that... I don't have a woman around me--not because I do have one around me. I ain't gonna reiterate (herein) the hundreds of posts and comments I've put into AFFland regarding the nature of the male/female dilemma. I ain't got the energy left to do it. You all want men to be women... then enjoy it. There are plenty of willing "subjects". I choose to let my balls hang right where they are--between my legs; and I don't give a shit if you wanna play with 'em or not. Now, of course, money talks--so, it ain't like I'm not willin' to sell my soul to ya; and for a steal, too. Then I'll just take them ducats and go buy me a piece of ass. Everybody's happy. Solar...
| |||
|
Ah, oui-oui... You know I love you--I just can't take any more "emotion-letting". And just as they discovered that blood-letting led to... how should I put it?... to death--they're gonna find out that emotion-letting for men is a one-way ticket to the freakin' grave--for men! Give us a problem and let us find a solution. And then... give us a blow-job for all the effort we expended fixin' the busted shit. In the meantime, you girls have your cry-fest and... if you need some Kleenex, and another bottle of wine... give us pecker-necks a holler. We'll be out by the barn... bangin' on that bent wagon wheel... and punchin' each other when we start in on any emotion-letting. As you can plainly read--herein--DT, MUTi, and I have ALL "talked" about our emotional issues--herein. The problem is... whilst we may have resolved (or came close to it--though you babes may disagree) the issue for us, we did not resolve the ongoing issue at hand--women vs men... inside that emotional boxing-ring. I used to think there might could be a resolution. Of course, I was young and stoopid... and horny. (I'm still horny--but I've gotten older and smarter. That's why it easier for me to just sell my soul and go buy a hooker.) But after years of study and gobs of bruising from empirical evidence (as Smarty I think put it), I have realized life will go on--and on--and on. There will never be a resolution to the battle of the sexes... until Jesus returns and dissolves the governments of mankind... and institutes His perfect government. At that time, all this gender-based disassociation between the sexes will become a moot point. Did ya know that there will be NO marrying in Heaven? It's right there, in that Black Book. Well, not for us who are... ahem... "saved", that is. (Thank you--JESUS!) Solar...
| |||
|
Now this here is the most entertaining thread I've ever read on BBW Tonight. WE, I guess you've struck a nerve with you're original post which was way back 7 days ago! Solar, if you don't like John Gray's 'Mars/Venus shit', then I don't suppose you like Tom Harris' 'I'm OK, You're OK' psycho-babble bullshit either. 'I'm OK, You're OK', by Thomas A. Harris, MD, is one of the best selling self-help books ever published. It is a practical guide to what the psycho-babbler community calls 'Transactional Analysis' which they claim is a crackerjack method for solving all the problems in life. Ha ha ha! As far as I'm concerned, those psycho-babblers would do well to read and study 'The Holy Bible'. There's more profound wisdom in that one book than all of their hifalutin psychology books put together! Now Solar, you referred to the "emotional boxing ring" inside which men and women perform and contest each other for dominance. I had never thought about it quite that way until you graced us all with that particular observation. I always looked at it as an "emotional rollercoaster" instead where we went through emotional highs and emotional lows. In the rollercoaster analogy, men and women are not competing for dominance, we're just clumbsily stumblin' through life together and goin' through the inevitable highs and lows. But in your boxing ring analogy, we are beatin' on each other tryin' to prove somethin' I suppose. But what is it exactly that we're tryin' to prove? Our superiority over our mate? Our dominance over our mate? Our ability to out-maneuver and out-last our mate? Hmmmmm? I don't know what it is we're tryin' to prove exactly, but I do know that we sure do beat one another up! Mercifully, the bell rings after each round. But the match only goes for 10 rounds and then we stop beatin' on each other, and we are both damaged pretty good! I think your analogy comes a bit closer to describing this man/woman phenomenon than does any other I have heard. Maybe you could write one of those psycho-babble books that us men folks could understand!
| |||
|
MUTi... It ain't about dominance--it's about emotional dilemma. Women seem to use emotions to bitch-slap us men (in a number of different ways.) And us men seem to use emotions to prove that women are limited in solving problems because of them. The difference with glove-boxing and emotional-boxing is that the latter has no rounds--the match runs indefinitely and no bell will end it. And the latter also has no rules--for women. Men know that, in a "game of sport", there MUST be rules... to foster true competition. Women think, and this is my opinion, only... that because men are "physically stronger" then that is justification to pull all stops. Of course, the average man is NOT going to use physical force... to compete against a woman, in any arena. Not all men--just the vast majority. And the ones who do resort to such force need to be seriously beaten to a pulp; and then jailed for a very long time. In the emotional boxing-ring, women have an automatic upper hand--through emotional superiority (they like that kinda shit, too.) But they refuse to handicap us men who are debilitated with emotional inferiority. If ya took the same approach in golf... who would bother to play, competitively? Think of it this way: if you put a 225# boxer in the ring with a 165# boxer, and tell them both that you'll spot the underweight 20 points per round, who do you think is gonna win? The 165# boxer can have 100 points per round to start... and one punch from the bigger one is gonna end the very first round in 10 seconds... with a KO on the little guy. Plain physics will rule out. I don't much go in for psycho-babblers. The real world ain't made up of nice, neat lab-studies. It is made up of a continuous stream of problems that either get solved... or that don't. Now, if they don't get solved, then I guess cryin' about them would probably not be a bad idea. And that is the difference between men and women when it comes to emotions--women are much better at "dealing" with emotions by letting them pass through them. It's just how they work. Men handle emotions by squashing them before they take the upper hand. And that's how we work. God made us that way for a reason; and for women to think they can change that, and still have men left over, is a ridiculous premise to be foisting onto themselves. Ya want a real war, then take that premise to its logical conclusion... and see who wins. The best we can all hope for is to accept that there are absolute differences between men and women--and for valid reasons. But this constant state of denial that those differences are real and are valid has brought us all within but a gnat's ass shy of disaster, as it is... and it will get progressively worse. As you alluded, MUTi, that Black Book is a road-map to getting to the answer; and it ain't got nothing to do with men "ruling" over women, contrary to popular belief. People don't understand the first thing about the Bible and... from what I read in it, they ain't never gonna. Ya see, the Book is not the answer--it is just the tool that leads us to the answer... which is Jesus. I'd like nothing more than to have a true relationship with a woman: respectful, kind, generous, mutual, loving, empathetic... all the things that make life worth living. But I'll be damned if I'm gonna turn the other cheek, time and time again, just to avoid facing "the truth"--why: because truth's gonna create tension? Fuck that! Besides: that's why God invented tequila--it gets rid of tension (at least it dulls it.) So does sex... but that's kinda out of the question what with the warning-tags I've had pinned on me by women. I suppose if I wanna do a guy, I could get some of that sex stuff; but I just ain't into guys. So... I'll stick with tequila--until I save up enough money for a hooker. Solar...
| |||
|
This is a copy--I guess the first pass didn't take? MUTi... It ain't about dominance--it's about emotional dilemma. Women seem to use emotions to bitch-slap us men (in a number of different ways.) And us men seem to use emotions to prove that women are limited in solving problems because of them. The difference with glove-boxing and emotional-boxing is that the latter has no rounds--the match runs indefinitely and no bell will end it. And the latter also has no rules--for women. Men know that, in a "game of sport", there MUST be rules... to foster true competition. Women think, and this is my opinion, only... that because men are "physically stronger" then that is justification to pull all stops. Of course, the average man is NOT going to use physical force... to compete against a woman, in any arena. Not all men--just the vast majority. And the ones who do resort to such force need to be seriously beaten to a pulp; and then jailed for a very long time. In the emotional boxing-ring, women have an automatic upper hand--through emotional superiority (they like that kinda shit, too.) But they refuse to handicap us men who are debilitated with emotional inferiority. If ya took the same approach in golf... who would bother to play, competitively? Think of it this way: if you put a 225# boxer in the ring with a 165# boxer, and tell them both that you'll spot the underweight 20 points per round, who do you think is gonna win? The 165# boxer can have 100 points per round to start... and one punch from the bigger one is gonna end the very first round in 10 seconds... with a KO on the little guy. Plain physics will rule out. I don't much go in for psycho-babblers. The real world ain't made up of nice, neat lab-studies. It is made up of a continuous stream of problems that either get solved... or that don't. Now, if they don't get solved, then I guess cryin' about them would probably not be a bad idea. And that is the difference between men and women when it comes to emotions--women are much better at "dealing" with emotions by letting them pass through them. It's just how they work. Men handle emotions by squashing them before they take the upper hand. And that's how we work. God made us that way for a reason; and for women to think they can change that, and still have men left over, is a ridiculous premise to be foisting onto themselves. Ya want a real war, then take that premise to its logical conclusion... and see who wins. The best we can all hope for is to accept that there are absolute differences between men and women--and for valid reasons. But this constant state of denial that those differences are real and are valid has brought us all within but a gnat's ass shy of disaster, as it is... and it will get progressively worse. As you alluded, MUTi, that Black Book is a road-map to getting to the answer; and it ain't got nothing to do with men "ruling" over women, contrary to popular belief. People don't understand the first thing about the Bible and... from what I read in it, they ain't never gonna. Ya see, the Book is not the answer--it is just the tool that leads us to the answer... which is Jesus. I'd like nothing more than to have a true relationship with a woman: respectful, kind, generous, mutual, loving, empathetic... all the things that make life worth living. But I'll be damned if I'm gonna turn the other cheek, time and time again, just to avoid facing "the truth"--why: because truth's gonna create tension? Fuck that! Besides: that's why God invented tequila--it gets rid of tension (at least it dulls it.) So does sex... but that's kinda out of the question what with the warning-tags I've had pinned on me by women. I suppose if I wanna do a guy, I could get some of that sex stuff; but I just ain't into guys. So... I'll stick with tequila--until I save up enough money for a hooker. Solar...
| |||
|
Ah, WE, you said this Friday evening: "oh lord muti and solar - it's not that we don't want advice but sometimes it's not about advice it's just about hearing" Now ya see, WE, it is exactly this which is, at least in my humble opinion, exactly the crux of the matter. I think a lot of men (and I'll speak for myself here) are quite willing to "hear" and "try to understand" what our mate is saying. When she is talking about a problem, we want to "help". That ain't a bad instinct, is it, WE? Now, as for myself, a recovering engineer and corporate manager and admittedly no sensitive metro-sexual kinda guy or linguine-wristed liberal, I interpret "helping" to be: questioning for further understanding, defining the problem, analyzing the problem and offering reasonable suggestions to solve the problem. I guess all of this pisses off many women. Well, at least in my case, it did seem to piss off my ex. I suppose she expected me to listen to her problems night after night (often the same old crap) and just hold her hand and hand her tissues with which to wipe away tears. Now ya see, I ain't into that (and I don't think most of us guys are). "Listening" and "hearing" night after night without doin' a little "problem solving" is a waste of time. At least that's my view of it. Now you might say that women just want to be "heard" and that they don't want us men folk offering solutions to their problems all wrapped up in a nice neat and pretty bow. You might say that! I have had other women, including my ex, tell me that! My question then is why do you keep telling me about the same old problem(s) night after the night? I have been at work all day fighting my own dragons and solving my own problems, and I don't come home at night whining about my day. But if you have problems to solve, I will help. Just spare me of having to solve the same old problem night after freaking night! That said, I suspect that you or others may very well regard me as a hard-headed, unfeeling, insensitive old coot. Well, that's perfectly fine with me too! I just don't have time for solving problems over and over. And I surely don't have time to hear about the same old problems night after night! I won't allow someone to suck the life out of me in that way!
| |||
|
Solar, I remember this verse from 'The Good Book': "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?" ~ 2 Corinthians 6:14 (KJV) Taken a bit further and enlarging upon this simple concept and Biblical principle, I would say that it is difficult to be "yoked together" with a mate who is not of a similar (or compatible) disposition, temperment, or viewpoint. IF you "yoke" together two oxen which are pulling unequally or in different directions, you're gonna have one helluva problem! And that goes for draft horses as well! God invented Kentucky straight bourbon whiskey too. And now, I'm gonna pour me a glass of it and kick back to watch the Missouri-Kentucky basketball game! Nope, I ain't gonna head out on the town to chase any of those shapely folks from Venus tonight! And that's for several good reasons, to wit: (1) I like watchin' Mizzou basketball better than I like buyin' strange Venusians high-priced drinks all night, (2) It's cold and snowy here tonight and I don't feel like gettin' out in it, (3) I've got a pretty good inventory of whiskey right here in my cabin so's I don't need to go out and buy it in the bars, and (4) I ain't particularly itchin' to run the risk of gettin' unequally "yoked" up with a Venusian who more than likely ain't goin' in my direction anyway! 
|
Become a member to create a blog
