June 15, 2009
|
Posted:Apr 7, 2009 6:38 pm
Last Updated:Apr 7, 2009 6:45 pm
1056 Views
|
Although my wife has filed for divorce, we’re still living in the same house. Not a lot has changed, so far. I am about to change that ‒ my goal is to move out by the end of April. The first real dose that something is different really hit me yesterday, when my wife and I went to court to meet with a mediator. Turns out that in this county (Lawrence), before you go to court to get divorced, you go through mediation. Our mediation date has been set (June 15, 2009).
After that date was set, I realized that my marriage will last until its 20th anniversary (May 27, 2009). I asked my wife this morning if we should have a wake on that date. Sounds like a reason to party, although my first choice would be a party not involving my soon-to-be-ex, but instead one that includes some hot sex, and me doing a lot more than watching two porn stars getting it on.
My wife and I do have a few issues to settle in mediation, so unless I get my act together that could be just the beginning. First off, she wants more than a 50/50 split. Considering I have a great job, 50% should be enough, so I'm going to fight that. She also wants spousal support (in a state that doesn’t have alimony), and she wants me to pay for her job training (rehabilitative maintenance). She wants the and the support that comes with it (I’m okay with that), and she wants the house (I’m okay with that).
Honestly, since she’s getting the , I’d probably be willing to pay for her job training, even though she has no real claim to it. She didn’t put me through college, and that’s what the rehabilitative maintenance is for. I think the would be better off with a mother that has some job skills and can therefore keep a job, so I think it would be a good investment.
So if I get my crap together, hire a lawyer of my own, and get just about everything settled with my ex before June 15th, I can walk out of the mediation session that day with an agreement. Then it will only be a matter of going before the judge and having him sign off on it. That is definitely my goal. I’m ready to move on and get myself a better life.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Middle of the Night Sex Rocks!
|
Posted:Apr 6, 2009 8:19 pm
Last Updated:Apr 11, 2009 6:32 pm
1560 Views
|
I returned to Tampa and checked into the same hotel that LadyFriend was in. When I dropped off my luggage at my room, I thought that this was one of the nicer rooms I was hoping to never spend any time in. Thankfully, I got my wish!
Did we go have dinner first? I think so, but I’m not really sure anymore. At some point, I was back in LadyFriend’s room, with our work (mostly) done for the week. I was done, but after spending a couple of days with her, I’m not sure she ever has a day off. Regardless, the night of hot, sexy fun was finally on!
We laughed about my goofy text message earlier in the day, and I told her about my anxiety and depression medicines, about panic attacks, as well as my prescription for Cialis. She told me about her own health problems that currently had her taking antibiotics. We talked about so many things. She listened with attentiveness and compassion as I described the events leading up to my wife filing for divorce, and an uncomfortable grilling I took from my father-in-law. She wanted to hear about the swinger’s club in San Diego that I visited, and she encouraged me to blog more about it.
I’ll never forget several things about that evening that were as sexy and romantic as anything I’ve ever experienced. LadyFriend’s room was on the sixth floor of the hotel. Holding her in my arms, her back to me, we watched the sun set on Tampa Bay. Unrushed, I got all the time I wanted to trace her curves with my fingers and drink in her beauty with my eyes.
Sometimes my touches would startle her; at first I apologized because I thought I was tickling her. LadyFriend told me that she wasn’t very ticklish, and that those startles were very pleasurable. She encouraged me to keep touching her skin with my hands and fingers like that. And she taught me how to put my fingers inside of her to bring her to the brink of orgasm.
As the pleasure built up inside her, she would reach up to grab the hair on the back of my neck. I could tell that she is a very strong woman, but she would always realize what she was doing and move her hand away before she would hurt me. Once, she brought out her vibrator to stimulate her clit. I felt so close to her, looking into her eyes as she came.
Before she fell asleep, she asked me how I felt about being awakened in the middle of the night to have sex again. I told her that I would like that very much. Soon, she fell asleep naked in my arms. I couldn’t help it, but the thought that she felt comfortable enough with me to do that put a lump in my throat. I couldn’t believe I was actually there enjoying the view of her nude body bathed in the lights of downtown Tampa Bay while she slept.
True to her word, LadyFriend did wake me up in the middle of the night to have her way with me. She kissed me, sucked on my nipples while she rubbed my naked body, then she sucked my cock until I was fully hard. She told me that she wanted me to fuck her doggie style, then she turned her back to me and wiggled her sexy ass in my face.
I wanted to explain that I always come ridiculously fast when I do doggie style, but just then didn’t seem to be the best time. In I went, but slowly, so I wouldn’t come so fast. She told me to fuck her harder. Then didn’t seem to be a good time to tell her, either, so I fucked her harder. Predictably, it wasn’t long before I came. It was very hot, raw, and sexy, but I was fighting so hard NOT to come that it somehow wasn’t as pleasurable as it could have been.
On Thursday night, I was still trying very hard to impress LadyFriend. As a result I was not able to relax completely and give in to the pleasure of my orgasm. By Saturday, my amazing lover had helped me fix that problem.
I definitely had to agree with LadyFriend; that middle of the night sex is fantastic! Of course, that might just have been because of the amazing woman I was with.
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
The Swinger Without A Hard-On
|
Posted:Apr 5, 2009 7:03 pm
Last Updated:Apr 7, 2009 5:07 pm
1416 Views
|
My conference, and the two days in Orlando, was quite simply a struggle. Fortunately, the conference was on the first floor of the hotel I was staying at, or I would have been quite a bit late for the meeting both days. On Wednesday, the achy muscles made it difficult to sit still for very long. I don’t think I dozed off during the conference, but I couldn’t guarantee it. Colleagues remarked that I looked pale to them, and I suggested to everybody that we just say “hi” rather than shake hands.
I had conference sessions up until 5 pm on Wednesday, but the session I was running at the conference was scheduled for 2 pm. Luckily for me, it started early (1:30) and wrapped up by 2 pm. After my session, I excused myself, headed for my room, and slept a solid 5 hours.
I don’t exercise as regularly while on travel as I do when I am home. On travel, there’s just a lot more networking with colleagues in addition to a full day’s work to be done. I do, however, make it a point to be anti-social enough on travel to get one or two runs in on a treadmill during a four day trip. I also work very hard to eat sensibly by avoiding hi-glycemic foods as much as possible.
The two days in Orlando I didn’t really follow any of that routine. I indulged myself at the dessert tray at the conference each day. I didn’t skip the cookies that were laid out for an afternoon snack each day, either. And if the hotel actually has a treadmill, I didn’t introduce myself to it the two days I was there. By the time I returned to Tampa, I did feel a lot better, but it really wasn’t until about a week later that the last vestiges of the cough and chest congestion were gone.
LadyFriend and I kept in touch with text messages from late Tuesday until we met again on Thursday. At the conference on Thursday, I sent her a VERY poorly worded text message which gave her the mistaken impression that I cannot get a hard-on the majority of the time. What I was actually trying to say in the text message was simply that I don’t get a hard-on as frequently as I did 20-25 years ago. Duh!
Her response to my screwed up text message was about as diplomatic as you could possibly expect, considering LadyFriend was expecting to be meeting a highly-sexed (if inexperienced) and uninhibited swinger wannabe for a weekend of hot, sexy fun. Looking back on it, her restraint was admirable: she simply wanted to understand why that was.  Her question was my first clue that I had texted something wrong; if she had gotten my intended meaning, I expected it would be obvious that I was 45, with a 45-year-old’s libido, and not a twenty-year-old’s.
Although I had a clue that something was wrong, I didn’t understand what the problem was ‒ at least not immediately. In response to her text, I explained that I take medication for anxiety and depression, and one of the side effects of that medication is (usually) mild erectile dysfunction. I’m sure that answer alarmed her even more! In a follow-on text message, I explained that I had complained to my doctor that I had experienced mild E.D., and my doctor had prescribed Cialis for me to counteract that side effect.
I’m not sure how much that answer reassured her that the rookie swinger she was planning to spend a lot of her vacation weekend with was going to be very much fun. Fortunately, I eventually re-read my original message, and it dawned on me what I had done. I texted her again, explaining that I do NOT in fact go through most of my days without being able to get an erection ‒ that my intention was simply to say that I don’t get erections constantly, like I did 20-25 years ago.
She responded that she was very relieved I explained what I meant; she admitted that she was thinking that it would have been nice if I would have mentioned such a significant point before we made plans to be with each other. I didn’t blame her at all. Making plans for a weekend of hot sex, only to discover your partner cannot get a hard-on, would be a pretty cruel April Fool’s Day joke (especially cruel on March 19th)!
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
Tuesday Night In Clearwater
|
Posted:Apr 4, 2009 10:58 pm
Last Updated:Apr 5, 2009 12:58 pm
1578 Views
|
We went back to LadyFriends’ hotel room, and I used her shower. Her blogs told me about a woman who had tapped into her inner slut, and they were both having a blast with their swinging lifestyle. I was very nervous because I was about to be with a lady that I had such a crush on already. Would she like me even close to as much? Would I be a good enough lover that she would want to play with me again? I hoped so with all my heart, on both counts.
Time_to_Naked finally reached zero. I can’t remember if I walked out of the shower and into her bedroom naked, or if I got undressed while she used the bathroom herself. I do remember being naked on her bed when she sent goosebumps up my spine by telling me “nice cock!” I was finally alone with this wonderful, uninhibited woman, and she was building a great connection with me by telling me how sexy I was.
Amazing lovers just have a knack for knowing what their partner needs, and LadyFriend is definitely an amazing lover. Her praise for my body built up my self-confidence and let me know that she was as excited to be there with me as I was to be there with her.
I loved talking to her about sex. She was very interested in learning about what I liked, and why I characterized myself as submissive in my profile. I told her about the girlfriend I had as a young man who gave me a passion for oral sex, because that was the only thing she would do (she was saving sexual intercourse for when she got married). I explained that it was that girlfriend who would sit on my face and grind her pussy on my face until she came. Ever since then, I would characterize that type of oral sex as my favorite.
LadyFriend’s thirst for knowledge is one of her most attractive qualities. In the time I spent with her, I was constantly impressed by the confidence she showed in asking questions, as well as the questions she asked. Her ability to recall so many details from previous conversations we’d had was all the proof I needed to know that she is very adept at living in the moment, and that she was indeed relishing the connection we were developing. It became even more obvious with every moment I spent with her why she is loved so fiercely by her circle of friends.
I loved talking to her while we were having sex. She has a great sense of humor. One time she rubbed her legs on mine and commented that I should feel privileged that she shaved her legs for me. All I knew up until then was that her long sexy legs felt fantastic against my skin, but her comment was not only funny, it made me appreciate her efforts to please me even more.
I told her once that I was so happy that I was able to “slide under her closing door” to become one of her friends. She had told me that once in an email while she was describing how busy her life was. In response, she self-deprecatingly replied that she was “such a brat for saying that to me.” I told her, very truthfully, that I admired her honesty, and it once again made me feel special and very lucky to be a part of her life.
On that first evening together, I eventually lost my erection without reaching orgasm. That was my first clue that I really was getting sicker as the evening went on, because that was something that had never happened to me before. I asked her if she wanted me to visit her on Wednesday night, and she suggested that we should get together when I returned to Tampa on Thursday. While that made a great deal of sense (we both had work to do, after all), I was so excited to be with her that waiting until Thursday to see her again was not my first choice. That I didn’t insist on another meeting on Wednesday was partly due to her insistence that she had a lot of work to do before we met again and partly because I thought I might need two days to recover from the virus.
LadyFriend was very mindful of the time, and also that I still had to drive to Orlando (about 90 miles from Tampa). I would have stayed and drank in her beauty with my eyes, and run my hands over her soft skin and curves all night if she would have let me. She tactfully kicked me out of her room at about 10 pm that night.
As I began my drive to Orlando, I had a nagging doubt about what losing my erection meant. I remembered her “standard disclaimer” about meeting in person to see what the chemistry was like, and basing all future meetings on how that went. Was it possible that I really wasn’t very attracted to her after all?
About 30 miles into my drive to Orlando, I had my answer. The headache I had been feeling at a low level all night became very intense. My thigh muscles and upper arms were aching so badly that I could barely sit still. The fever chills made my teeth chatter. On top of that, I was exhausted and could barely keep my eyes open. It became completely obvious to me that I was so attracted to LadyFriend that the attraction was about the only thing keeping me from being very sick all night.
I considered pulling over at the nearest hotel, and booking a room for the night, but before I did this, I decided to stop at a gas station and get a large cup of coffee. The heat from the coffee made me just comfortable enough to soothe the chills, and the caffeine seemed to help take the edge off of the headache and give me just barely enough alertness to weave my way all the way to my Orlando hotel.
As I woke every hour or two during the night to stretch my achy muscles, take a sip of water, or massage my temples, the thought of being with her again on Thursday was more than enough to sustain me.
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
Act One: They Meet
|
Posted:Apr 3, 2009 8:53 pm
Last Updated:Apr 5, 2009 2:05 pm
1322 Views
|
Eventually, LadyFriend and I did meet. It seemed to me like the day would never come, and just like a long anticipated event that actually lives up to the advanced billing, it was over much too soon and left me wanting so much more.
I decided to extend my stay by 36 hours. Normally, I arrive for my Orlando conference on Tuesday evening, attend my conference on Wednesday and Thursday, and fly back early on Friday. Instead, I canceled my Thursday nite hotel reservation in Orlando and booked one at LadyFriend’s hotel in Tampa instead. I also got a hotel room in Fort Myers for Friday night, and my new flight back home left from Tampa at 7 pm Saturday night.
In the back of my mind, I knew that the NCAA Tournament was starting that weekend, and that my plans to be with LadyFriend would mean that I would definitely miss one of my favorite basketball team’s games, and maybe even two. I am a big fanatic of my alma mater’s sports programs, and under most circumstances I wouldn’t miss a game of that significance. After all, a loss in the NCAA tournament and my favorite team’s season would be over.
As I thought this through, I realized that I didn’t care. A half remembered line from a recent song came to me:
With eight seconds left in overtime
She’s on your mind
She’s on your mind
I wasn’t feeling well when I landed in Tampa on Tuesday. I probably picked up a virus from my oldest earlier in the week. It started with a nagging cough on Monday evening. By Tuesday I had developed a headache, runny nose, and achy muscles. I definitely wasn’t my normal, energetic self, and I was upset at the bad luck to be feeling so poorly on my much-anticipated “X-mas Day.” The nightmare popping into my head was that LadyFriend’s longest lasting memory from meeting me would be the virus I would be giving her. Dionne Warwick would be reminding her:
What do you get when you kiss a guy?
You get enough germs to catch pneumonia
At least I would definitely phone her afterward, assuming she would take any of my calls!
I texted LadyFriend when I landed, telling her this bad news. She was still interested in meeting and maybe having dinner. She suggested that if I didn’t feel better after dinner, I could head up to Orlando. I suggested that maybe we should have a “look but don’t touch” rule, since I would really feel bad if she picked up this virus from me. She had no comment on this idea.
We met at her favorite seafood place in Clearwater for dinner. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. I could barely think of things to say, except that I just couldn’t believe she was finally sitting across the table from me. I could see that my staring was making her self conscious, but I could no more look away for more than a few seconds than I could hold my breath for more than a minute. Her smiles lit up the room, just as I was certain they would.
As we finished dinner, she asked me how I felt. I said I felt good. It really wasn’t a lie; yes, I had a headache, occasional cough, and achy muscles, but being with her more than made up for it. We walked to the parking lot, and I asked her what she thought of the “look but don’t touch rule.” She smiled and said “that was YOUR rule, not mine,” and as she said this, we kissed.
So much for concerns about that virus! She confessed to me later that she thought she was so pumped full of antibiotics that she wasn’t worried about getting my virus. As I stood there in the parking lot, the instantaneous bulge in my pants told me, in no uncertain terms, that the emotional and intellectual attraction I had felt for LadyFriend definitely had a physical component, as well.
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
The Awkward Pause
|
Posted:Apr 2, 2009 7:58 pm
Last Updated:May 24, 2024 12:4 pm
1076 Views
|
First off, sorry about the double-post of the same blog last time. Although it was a good blog (for me), I guess it probably wasn't good enough for people to read more than once! I'll try not to let it happen again. 
Now back to our regularly scheduled blog ....
Even though we hadn’t met yet, I felt a really strong connection with my lady friend from Colorado. I joked with her in responses to her blogs that we seemed so much alike that maybe she was really my sister, who I was always told died during childbirth. She responded that if that were true, what we had planned for Tampa was just plain wrong!
I just adore that sense of humor ‒ irreverent, unabashed, with a strong dose of naughty.
I’m certain that, by comparison at least, I was almost a stranger to her. While I was being a good boy at home, I was focusing all of my thoughts on her and on “x-mas.” Meanwhile, she was working in one time zone, living in two, and with her amazing circle of friends, she could only pay so much attention paid to what I was up to. And she certainly didn’t have the advantage of reading my blogs to learn more about me ‒ because I just wasn’t doing any blogging during the weeks leading up to our meeting.
A perfect example of what I mean about how tuned into her thoughts I was came about a week before we were going to meet. In an email, she told me that she was planning to take a few days of vacation on Sanibel Island. She asked me if I wanted to join her. She joked that she really didn’t expect me to say yes, but that I should at least let her have her fantasy for a little while before explaining why it just wasn’t possible.
On my end, I was so excited by this possibility (even more time with this incredible lady, are you kidding me?) that I immediately replied that I thought I could make that happen, and I thanked her for inviting me. I told her that she had made my day with her invitation.
It was at this point that we had an awkward pause, for about four days, in our email correspondence here on BBW Tonight. I knew she was a very busy lady, so at first I didn’t worry. Okay, well, maybe I worried a little. I resisted the urge to send her an email joking that “she should be careful what she asks for.” I killed time waiting for her response by reopening her invitation email and re-reading it. The part about giving her a while before destroying her fantasy took on a whole new (and not so funny) meaning.
Turned out I did know just what she was thinking. After we got together, she confessed that she was indeed having cold feet ‒ one of those “PLEASE tell me that I just didn’t invite a man I’ve never met to share my vacation weekend with me? And please also tell me that he didn’t just ACCEPT?!”
To jump at that chance was very much out of the ordinary for me. I had never, in nearly 21 years at my job, attempted to modify travel arrangements, fly into and out of different cities (in this case, Tampa rather than Orlando), extend rental car and hotel stays, or take personal days as part of a work trip. And although I’m a seasoned traveler for my work, I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve taken trips that involved flying for pleasure.
I think that points out the amazing power of her blogs to pull me into her world, embrace me, and make me feel welcome. Looking back on it, it’s obvious now that what I was doing was way out of my comfort zone, and I just really didn’t care!
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
What
|
Posted:Mar 31, 2009 6:34 pm
Last Updated:Apr 1, 2009 7:46 pm
1114 Views
|
In those 27 days leading up to “X-mas”, I sure did have my lady friend from Colorado and I doing a lot of things when we got together for a few days in Florida. It seemed lost on me that both of us were actually going to be working during the day. One time, I suggested that we try to meet another BBW Tonight lady who was on my friends list and who lived in the area. Another time, I had us going out to Mons Venus to check out the Tampa strip club scene. My lady friend humored me on all of these fantasies, saying “sure, whatever you want.”
I learned a lot about my lady friend from her profile. I knew that she was a bisexual swinger. I was immediately drawn to her great smile and her intense, beautiful blue eyes in her profile pictures. Her profile said that she was a “professional by day, throw her clothes on the floor kind of girl by night”. Just an example of how great a writer she is … from that I got that she is funny, smart, adventurous, uninhibited, successful, … and a great writer.
Did I mention she writes great blogs, too? I have always enjoyed writing myself, and I am a bit of a stickler for proper grammar, spelling, and sentence structure. My lady-friend is very skilled with the written word. With every blog this lady would write, I became more impressed with who she was, more excited about the aspects of our lives that we had in common. Her blogs about being a late-bloomer on a journey of personal discovery would grab my attention from the first word to the last; I was so eager to learn from her experiences, to hear her perspective. From her blogs, I learned that she is a software consultant; I am a computer engineer, so even technically I felt we would connect very well.
A great example of this was the fun we were having describing our “time to naked” variable. She sent me a naughty text once asking how long after we met would it be until we were both naked. I instantly responded that I hoped it would be nanoseconds. True to my engineering background, I soon realized that, regardless of how quick or slow, “time to naked” could always be measured in nanoseconds, so I sent another response, letting her know that I hoped that it would be less than 7.2 x 10^12 nanoseconds, as that would give us enough time for dinner and a short drive to her hotel room! It was fun to think that she would be able to make the conversion from nanoseconds to minutes, and that she would appreciate the humor.
For me, reading her blogs was a little like being given a copy of a diary of a celebrity I had a major crush on. I already had this lady on a pedestal, but now I got to know much more about her day-to-day life than I ever dreamed possible. Looking back on the days leading up to our meeting, I can tell now that I was becoming very insecure about meeting her. Her blogs revealed insights into life and experience swinging with very interesting (amazing even) partners that preyed on my fragile self-confidence. Which leads me back to the “special events” I was trying to line up during our few days together: no doubt that I was attempting to compensate for my own perceived shortcomings by coming up with backup ideas to entertain this amazing lady.
That’s the classic introvert, isn’t it? Shy and uncomfortable beginning new relationships, along with reluctant to let someone into their personal life. New beginnings and new relationships are worrisome and stressful and thrilling all at the same time.
I hadn’t made my travel arrangements yet, but I was most likely going to be flying into Orlando on Tuesday, going to my conference for two days, and then I would fly back out sometime on Friday. The conference is almost always at least nine hours each day, so that that was going to give me just a few hours each evening with my lady friend. I would have to drive to Tampa for a dinner date, find out if there was any spark of desire for more between us, actually act on that spark if we were fortunate enough for there to be one, then drive back to Orlando later in the evening. It finally occurred to me that we just weren’t going to have time to meet a third person (a stranger to both of us) or scout a room full of strippers for ones we thought were hot enough to get lap dances from.
So finally I emailed my lady friend back telling her that I had come to my senses, and that all of this other crap I had been proposing that we do was just that ‒ crap. I told her that I hoped we would just have enough time to get to know each other over dinner, and maybe if we both liked what we saw staring at us from across the table, we might have some hot sex for dessert.
She emailed me back that she too had wondered where all this extra time to do all these things was going to come from. And she also cautioned me that she was going to see what the connection was like in person, and all her further plans were going to be based on that. She urged me to do the same.
The disclaimer was both a scary and a funny idea to me. I could envision (in my worst nightmare) my lady friend deciding to play that "I just don't feel a connection" card after we met for dinner. How I would deal with that, I had no idea. I prayed a lot that I wouldn't have to deal with it.
The funny part about the disclaimer was how certain I was that I would never use it. Because of her brilliant blogs, I was convinced that she would be the most interesting lady I had met in, well, forever. And if that lady wanted sex with me for dessert (and I so hoped she did), I was eagerly going to serve me up, and hope like hell I would become her favorite dish.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
What
|
Posted:Mar 31, 2009 6:32 pm
Last Updated:Apr 1, 2009 7:45 pm
1189 Views
|
In those 27 days leading up to “X-mas”, I sure did have my lady friend from Colorado and I doing a lot of things when we got together for a few days in Florida. It seemed lost on me that both of us were actually going to be working during the day. One time, I suggested that we try to meet another BBW Tonight lady who was on my friends list and who lived in the area. Another time, I had us going out to Mons Venus to check out the Tampa strip club scene. My lady friend humored me on all of these fantasies, saying “sure, whatever you want.”
I learned a lot about my lady friend from her profile. I knew that she was a bisexual swinger. I was immediately drawn to her great smile and her intense, beautiful blue eyes in her profile pictures. Her profile said that she was a “professional by day, throw her clothes on the floor kind of girl by night”. Just an example of how great a writer she is … from that I got that she is funny, smart, adventurous, uninhibited, successful, … and a great writer.
Did I mention she writes great blogs, too? I have always enjoyed writing myself, and I am a bit of a stickler for proper grammar, spelling, and sentence structure. My lady-friend is very skilled with the written word. With every blog this lady would write, I became more impressed with who she was, more excited about the aspects of our lives that we had in common. Her blogs about being a late-bloomer on a journey of personal discovery would grab my attention from the first word to the last; I was so eager to learn from her experiences, to hear her perspective. From her blogs, I learned that she is a software consultant; I am a computer engineer, so even technically I felt we would connect very well.
A great example of this was the fun we were having describing our “time to naked” variable. She sent me a naughty text once asking how long after we met would it be until we were both naked. I instantly responded that I hoped it would be nanoseconds. True to my engineering background, I soon realized that, regardless of how quick or slow, “time to naked” could always be measured in nanoseconds, so I sent another response, letting her know that I hoped that it would be less than 7.2 x 10^12 nanoseconds, as that would give us enough time for dinner and a short drive to her hotel room! It was fun to think that she would be able to make the conversion from nanoseconds to minutes, and that she would appreciate the humor.
For me, reading her blogs was a little like being given a copy of a diary of a celebrity I had a major crush on. I already had this lady on a pedestal, but now I got to know much more about her day-to-day life than I ever dreamed possible. Looking back on the days leading up to our meeting, I can tell now that I was becoming very insecure about meeting her. Her blogs revealed insights into life and experience swinging with very interesting (amazing even) partners that preyed on my fragile self-confidence. Which leads me back to the “special events” I was trying to line up during our few days together: no doubt that I was attempting to compensate for my own perceived shortcomings by coming up with backup ideas to entertain this amazing lady.
That’s the classic introvert, isn’t it? Shy and uncomfortable beginning new relationships, along with reluctant to let someone into their personal life. New beginnings and new relationships are worrisome and stressful and thrilling all at the same time.
I hadn’t made my travel arrangements yet, but I was most likely going to be flying into Orlando on Tuesday, going to my conference for two days, and then I would fly back out sometime on Friday. The conference is almost always at least nine hours each day, so that that was going to give me just a few hours each evening with my lady friend. I would have to drive to Tampa for a dinner date, find out if there was any spark of desire for more between us, actually act on that spark if we were fortunate enough for there to be one, then drive back to Orlando later in the evening. It finally occurred to me that we just weren’t going to have time to meet a third person (a stranger to both of us) or scout a room full of strippers for ones we thought were hot enough to get lap dances from.
So finally I emailed my lady friend back telling her that I had come to my senses, and that all of this other crap I had been proposing that we do was just that ‒ crap. I told her that I hoped we would just have enough time to get to know each other over dinner, and maybe if we both liked what we saw staring at us from across the table, we might have some hot sex for dessert.
She emailed me back that she too had wondered where all this extra time to do all these things was going to come from. And she also cautioned me that she was going to see what the connection was like in person, and all her further plans were going to be based on that. She urged me to do the same.
The disclaimer was both a scary and a funny idea to me. I could envision (in my worst nightmare) my lady friend deciding to play that "I just don't feel a connection" card after we met for dinner. How I would deal with that, I had no idea. I prayed a lot that I wouldn't have to deal with it.
The funny part about the disclaimer was how certain I was that I would never use it. Because of her brilliant blogs, I was convinced that she would be the most interesting lady I had met in, well, forever. And if that lady wanted sex with me for dessert (and I so hoped she did), I was eagerly going to serve me up, and hope like hell I would become her favorite dish.
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
Just Twenty-Seven Days Till Christmas!
|
Posted:Mar 28, 2009 4:50 pm
Last Updated:Mar 31, 2009 6:33 pm
1341 Views
|
After the ladder blowup with my wife, I decided to take a few weeks off from meeting people. At one point I met with my father-in-law, and one thing he said that stuck with me from that meeting was that I could help make the remaining time I had before the divorce more pleasant by deciding to “keep it in my pants.” Since I have not moved out of our home, I decided that was good advice.
Even though I was being a good boy at home, that didn’t prevent me from planning my next great adventure. I call it a great adventure because a man from Bedford, Indiana, traveling to Tampa, Florida, to meet a lady friend from Denver, Colorado, could be nothing less!
Near the end of January, I noticed this lady from Colorado because she showed up as someone who was reading my blog. Ironic, that, because she’s the one who writes great blogs! Once I looked at her profile, I just knew I had to get to know her better. Her profile was well-written and funny, describing an adventurous soul enjoying a journey of personal discovery. The smile on her face in her main profile pic as she embraced her lover’s cock was intriguing and intoxicating. I sent her an email offering her membership into my circle of friends, letting her know that I thought her profile and her picture were amazing. I told her that I had a meeting in Colorado Springs in July, and that I would love to meet her then if we could work out the details. Since she seemed interested in my blog, I was hopeful that she would accept my offer of friendship.
A few days later, I got a rejection of my friendship offer from her. The rejection said that she wasn’t seeing any new people at that time. I was pretty disappointed, but my disappointment was very short-lived. Almost immediately after sending me that email, she sent me another one saying that she was a “dork” because she got in a hurry and sent me the wrong email. Now THAT was an email that I was happy to get!
We kept in touch over the next few weeks, and I learned a lot about her from her great blogs. With every word she wrote, my desire to meet her increased. Such eloquence and insight, and she seemed to be well on her way on a similar journey to the one that I was just beginning. At the very least, I could learn so much from her. At the most, well the possibilities there would be limited only by our imaginations.
One day in mid-February I realized that there might actually be a chance for me to meet her for the first time in March instead of July. She was working every week on a consulting job in the Tampa, Florida, area. I had a business trip planned to Orlando in mid-March. My pervy nature helped me with the geography lesson there…. I knew very well that Orlando is only 90 miles from Tampa, because I had considered making that drive over to Tampa many times just to visit the famous Mons Venus Gentlemen’s Club. Somehow, I’ve never made that trip, except many, many times in my mind. But all of that research was now being put to good use.
So I sent my Colorado lady friend an email asking whether she would like to meet a man from Bedford, Indiana, in Tampa, Florida during the week of March 17th. And not only did she say that she would be in Tampa during that week, but she said she would love to meet me!
Now any Christian will tell you that the month before Christmas is the longest month in the whole year. The anticipation I felt while I waited for this trip was very much the same. I got confirmation that my lady friend would meet me on February 18th, 27 days before I was to arrive in Orlando. Thank goodness February is a short month! After we exchanged , I would often send her texts letting her know how many days were left until Christmas. If ever there was a little boy who was looking forward to tearing into the wrapping paper of his Christmas present, that little boy was me!
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
Searching for the Right One
|
Posted:Mar 27, 2009 1:29 pm
Last Updated:Apr 18, 2009 6:12 am
1207 Views
|
So far this year, I have played with three couples and had one-on-one encounters with three women. I met one of the women at Thad’s, a very cool swinger’s club in San Diego. The other two I met through BBW Tonight. I am trying to follow the lead of my personal swinger guru by following two rules in all of these encounters … “live in the moment” and “don’t compare them, just enjoy them.”
And so I have. But one observation that I can make is that there is a pronounced difference between how I felt after the encounters with the couples and the one-on-one’s with the women. With the couples, the sex was fun and at times very hot, but I didn’t get emotionally attached. Don’t get me wrong ‒ I liked the couples I played with enough that I’d darned sure do it again and again if given the opportunity. But it was easy for me to implement the “no strings attached” philosophy after those encounters.
My response to the one-on-ones with the women was very different. I developed strong emotional attachments to each of the women I had sex with in those cases. It’s fairly obvious to me that, even though I am not even divorced yet, I am interested in finding a soul-mate. I guess that makes sense, since all I have known nearly all of my adult life (nearly 20 years) is to be married, and I certainly have a fear of the unknown or unfamiliar.
The question I don’t yet know the answer to is whether I would be happiest with a soul-mate that demands monogamy or one that loves to swing. History tells me that I tried the monogamy path, and it didn’t work out very well. But the lessons from history are always clouded by caveats and special circumstances that you can point to that poke holes in any argument. How about a monogamous relationship with a woman that actually loves to have sex a lot, and who wants to explore her sexuality? That could work, right?
No matter how it works out, I’ve got to promise myself that I will stay in the moment and enjoy the journey. That change in mindset will probably be the biggest adjustment of all for me.
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
The Ladder Aftermath
|
Posted:Mar 25, 2009 7:13 am
Last Updated:Apr 6, 2009 8:22 pm
1404 Views
|
After the Great Ladder Catastrophe of OH-NINE, it was obvious that I was hurting my wife by playing outside our marriage. She was trying to be okay with it, but her emotional overreaction to my taking the ladder to Seymour told me that she was very unhappy.
She had told me previously that, if I decided to play outside our marriage, that I couldn’t be with her any more. Looking back on that, I should have understood that what she was really telling me was that if I chose to play outside our marriage that she was going to divorce me. Somehow, it was not until after I started playing that I got this message clearly.
Would understanding that my wife was going to go through with divorce if I chose to play outside of the marriage have made a difference in my actions? It probably should have; I should have decided to file for divorce myself at that point. Would I have had the courage to file, or would I have been content to simply wallow in self pity and depression, failing day after day to act, as is so often my pattern?
She had already rejected my request for more sex (two or three times each week was my request) in a closer, more passion-filled relationship. She had also rejected my request for marital counseling to determine our problems and solve them. Facing her steadfast refusal to consider either request, I should have filed.
And so I am haunted by the regret of what might have been. At this point, her biggest point in every discussion that we have about the decision to file for divorce is that I “blew it” with her by playing with other people. So if, instead of playing outside our marriage I had simply filed, she MIGHT have decided to submit to marital counseling. I potentially gave up a lot by playing.
After the ladder incident, I decided to take a break from playing. That, and to go get our ladder back! I guess I had hoped that by not playing with others, she would see that I still cared for her feelings. I hoped that she would not file, but instead decide to submit to marital counseling with me. But she met with the lawyer on March 10th, and on Friday the 13th of March, her lawyer filed the paperwork for a divorce, with the County Courthouse. I picked up my copy of the filing on Monday, March 23rd.
In the eyes of most, I gave up the moral high ground by “cheating,” even if I did so with her knowledge. I don’t get a whole lot of credit from her side of the family for attempting to redefine a broken marriage in terms that both of us could live with and be happy going forward. At least that was the impression I have gotten from the only family member on her side to speak with me about it so far: her father. I am somewhat grateful to him for taking his time to speak with me. Of course, he didn’t endear himself to me very much during our conversation by making veiled references to me as a possible molester, but that is a whole other story entirely.
I’ll no doubt be giving up at least 50% of the marital assets my wife and I have accrued to this point. Her lawyer has made it clear that they will even be going for more than the customary 50/50 split in this case, since she has so little earning potential while I have so much. She will get the house. Also, since my wife has no demonstrable job skills at this point, I will probably even be required to pay for her job training for the next three years. Finally, for the next fourteen years, I face the strong likelihood that I will be required to provide $7 out of every $8 in support, medical expenses, house payments, utilities, property taxes, and home repairs, with the eighth dollar provided by my wife’s income. I will gladly pay for the job training if it makes our shares of the financial obligations of raising our more equitable.
Will it all be worth it? That’s entirely up to me, and as I have mentioned in this blog before, I like what I see out of 2009 so far. Even in this very stressful time of my life, my stress is proving to be manageable on half the anti-anxiety medication that I was taking just last year. If I can fashion a new life that is largely free from the anxiety and depression that was so consistently a part of my life before I started “swinging”, then it will be money that was very well spent.
On my own personal journey of self-discovery, I have taken several important steps. Now the next big question to answer is, am I really a “swinger,” or “a one-woman man”? Let the journey of personal discovery begin …. Yeah, Baby, Yeah!
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
About Time to Write Again
|
Posted:Mar 24, 2009 7:03 pm
Last Updated:Mar 24, 2009 8:43 pm
1206 Views
|
I can�t believe it really has been 32 days since my last blog. There has been a lot going on in my life. I wrote some of it down in blogs that I meant to post here, but when I would read them, I just didn�t like what they said. I guess I�m my own worst critic when it comes to blogs!
My marriage has blown up, and divorce is in my future. It can be so funny sometimes how these things happen, and if it wasn�t happening to me, I�m sure I�d be laughing about it. Call it the "Great Ladder Catastrophe of OH-NINE."
About a week after my third threesome with a very nice couple in Seymour, they needed a ladder to do some wallpaper stripping. The boyfriend was away on business, and the lady (new to Seymour) and a girlfriend didn�t know anyone with a ladder. The lady sent me a text asking if I had a ladder she and her girlfriend could use. I responded that, yes, in fact I had two of them, and I asked them which one they needed. I eventually chose the wrong one (the big one), and made arrangements to borrow my neighbor�s Jeep to make the 40 mile trip to Seymour.
It was getting close to 4 pm in the afternoon, and my wife has a bowling league at 6pm, so I asked my 19 year-old (who was napping on the couch), if he could watch his 13-year old brother and 8-year old sister for a couple of hours while I took the ladder over to Seymour. He said sure.
My wife proceeded to have a fit. Under no circumstances was our oldest allowed to go to Seymour with me. When I explained that he wasn�t going to Seymour, he was just going to watch his brother and sister while I went there, her next problem was that I was inconveniencing him by making him watch his brother and sister. He totally defused this by saying that he didn't have any specific plans for the evening, and that he would be available to watch his brother and sister for the next two or three hours, at a minimum. I'm sure he wished he could have just been left out of our argument at that point!
Her next problem was that he didn�t need to watch them, since I was forcing her to take them to the bowling alley with her. I told her that that was her choice, but since I was only going to be gone until about 7 pm, our 19 year old was capable of watching his brother and sister for about two hours if needed.
After the truth of this settled in, the next big problem as far as she was concerned was that those people could get their own ladder. I got upset in return and replied that if I couldn�t take them one of our two ladders, neither of which we would be using for the foreseeable future, then I guess I would go to the store and buy them one instead. She told me that I wasn�t going to buy them a ladder, either, and I said that I was glad we settled that, and that I would be back at 7 pm after dropping off the ladder in Seymour.
So I did, and my wife was so upset about it that she decided it was time to hire a lawyer and file for divorce. Giving my body to a stranger was not that big of a deal in her eyes, but I went too far when I let a stranger borrow our ladder!
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
A Testimonial to BBW Tonight
|
Posted:Feb 19, 2009 11:28 pm
Last Updated:Feb 22, 2009 9:12 am
1085 Views
|
A Testimonial to BBW Tonight
I guess I shouldn't have been surprised, after how easily I met Jackie about 5 1/2 years ago, but this site really does work! So far, I’ve been fortunate enough to meet with three couples looking for a man to play with in the last three weeks, and each of them has been an absolute blast. And lots and lots of cunnilingus. Yeah!!!!
Certainly, it wasn’t as easy as walking into a brothel in Phoenix, picking out which 26 year old hottie I wanted to play with, and forking over $375. But it was definitely less illegal, and it was infinitely more satisfying each and every time. It was also less expensive in each case, but I have a good job that pays me well, so the lower expense is less of an incentive than the pleasure. And the experiences were so much more pleasurable than that time in Phoenix that my mindset has changed completely from back then, when I decided that I had so much fun in that 30 minute session that my life simply had to change.
Back then, my plan was to get in great physical shape so that I could enjoy going to that brothel more the next time. Now my thoughts center around getting in great physical shape so that I stand a better chance of finding a woman or couple in the Phoenix area who is active on BBW Tonight who would like to play with me. And if that doesn’t happen, I think I will drive to San Diego to check out Thad’s swingers club on a Sunday.
Quite honestly, I think that really sums up the depths of the despair to which I had sunk prior to Phoenix: that temporary high after the brothel seems now like simply the absence of depression, compared to the joy and happiness I have felt in the loving full-body embrace of four special women who all swing with the blessings of their spouses or boyfriends.
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
To link to this blog (SensitivePerv) use [blog SensitivePerv] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
| |
|
|
|
1
|
2
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
61
|
7
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
|
|
