Farm Girl Birth Control.....
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Posted:Nov 13, 2008 1:11 am
Last Updated:Nov 17, 2008 2:28 pm
2687 Views
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There were three gals who were getting married and all met at the marriage counselor's office to discuss the options of having or not having a baby right away.
There were two city gals and one farm gal. The counselor asked them if they planned on having a baby right away or were going to wait awhile.
They all agreed that they had discussed this with their potential husbands and all agreed to wait awhile. Well, the counselor asked the first gal what type of birth control she planned to use. Her answer was, 'The rhythm method.' 'That will work,' said the counselor, 'if you keep a good record.'
He asked the second gal what system she planned on using. 'I plan on using birth control pills,' she said. Again he said, 'Yes that will work as long as you don't forget to take them.'
He then asked the farm girl what system she was planning on using. Her answer was, 'The pail and saucer method.' After a short delay, he told her that should also work.He asked them all to come back in one year on a specific date for a follow up on how things were going.
They all met again one year later and the two city gals were pregnant. Only the farm gal was slim and trim yet. Well, the counselor asked the first gal what method she used and what went wrong. She replied, 'I used the rhythm method but somehow got my notes mixed up and, well here I am, going to have a baby.'
He asked the second city gal what method she used and she replied, 'The birth control pill. But we were camping one weekend and I didn't have my pills with me and as you can see, I too am going to have a baby.'
He turns to the farm gal. 'I vaguely remember you were going to use the pail and saucer method. Now I must admit that I don't have a clue what the pail and saucer method is. Will you explain it to me as I see it has worked well for you?'
She replied, 'Well we make love standing up, and since I am quite a bit taller than my husband, he stands on a pail turned upside down. Now as we are making love, I watch his eyes, and when his eyes get as big as saucers....
I kick the pail out from under him.
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Women Over Forty
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Posted:Nov 13, 2008 1:00 am
Last Updated:Nov 18, 2008 9:13 pm
3301 Views
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A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting. Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you'd deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her. Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?', here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
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3
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Hey Little Girl!
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Posted:Nov 12, 2008 1:27 pm
Last Updated:Nov 13, 2008 1:47 am
2716 Views
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A 10-year-old girl was walking down the street when a big man on a black motorcycle pulls up besides her and says ‘Hey little girl, do you want to go for a ride?’ ‘NO!’ says the little girl as she keeps on walking. The motorcyclist pulls up beside her again and says ‘Hey , I will give you $10 if you hop on the back.’ ‘NO!’ said the little girl and proceeded down the street a little quicker. The motorcyclist pulls up to the little girl again and says ‘Okay , I will give you $20 and a BIG bag of candy if you hop on the back of my bike for a ride.’ At this point the little girl turns to him and screams angrily ‘Look Dad, YOU bought the Honda instead of a Harley so YOU ride it!’
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2
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Blonde or a Redhead?
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Posted:Nov 9, 2008 10:51 pm
Last Updated:Nov 15, 2008 1:53 am
2943 Views
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I got an email this evening complimenting my new profile pic and the pic of me in the red and black dress. Then he goes on to ask if I am a red head or a blonde since my hair looks red in some photos and blonde in others. Hmmmmm, Do I really want to indulge that information or leave it a mystery unknown to only those that have had the pleasure of meeting me in person, part of the fantasy so to speak.  LOL. Would anyone care to venture a guess as to the natural color of my hair? Make your guesses and I will post a pic of myself showing my natural hair color at a later date.
Kat
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5
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The Wolf
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Posted:Nov 7, 2008 1:06 pm
Last Updated:Nov 17, 2008 2:36 pm
2551 Views
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Little Red Riding Hood is skipping thru the forest road when she sees the big bad wolf crouched down behind a log.
'My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf.'
The wolf jumps up and runs away.
Further down the road, Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again. And this time he is crouched behind a bush.
'My what big ears you have, Mr. Wolf.'
Again the wolf jumps up and runs away.
About 1/4 mile down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf
again and this time he is crouched down behind a rock.
'My what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf.'
With that the wolf jumps up and screams, 'Will you knock it off, I'm trying to poop!'
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2
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Five Tips For a Woman....
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Posted:Nov 7, 2008 11:37 am
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2011 12:01 am
2596 Views
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1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.
4. It is important that a man loves and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.
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One For The Girls
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Posted:Nov 7, 2008 10:22 am
Last Updated:Nov 13, 2008 1:42 am
2389 Views
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Now I lay me down to sleep
I pay the Lord my shape to keep.
Please no wrinkles, please no bags
and Please lift my butt before it sags.
Please no age spots, Please no gray
and as for my belly, Please take it away.
Please keep me healthy, please keep me young,
and thank you Lord, for all that you've done!
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Congrats to Our Future President!
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Posted:Nov 5, 2008 12:44 pm
Last Updated:Nov 13, 2008 1:40 am
3321 Views
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Congratulations to Obama for a historic win. Whether he was your vote or not, he is our upcoming president. It's not going to be easy but I hope he can bring about the changes he has promised! God Bless America!
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Voting!
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Posted:Nov 5, 2008 10:32 am
Last Updated:Nov 13, 2008 1:39 am
2506 Views
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I hope you all got your voting done! I know the lines sucked but at least you have the right to bitch about what is going on in the white house!
Kat
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1
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Loving It!
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Posted:Nov 3, 2008 8:30 am
Last Updated:Nov 13, 2008 1:39 am
2244 Views
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Last night at work, the bikers were stopping by in packs again just like over the summer, out getting in what they are hoping isn't their last rides for the year before the cold sets in. It was my best Sunday in quite some time other than when we had the dancers. The weather is so much like spring right now it's amazing! Several of my friends and I were talking about that when I remembered back to when I was trick or treating as a and there were snow banks piled as high as the porches and we had to wear heavy clothes and Mom followed along with the car so we could warm up from time to time. Yeah, it just amazes me how different this Novemeber started out from the ones we had back then.
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2
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Halloween Spirits?
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Posted:Nov 2, 2008 12:10 pm
Last Updated:Aug 16, 2010 1:10 am
2129 Views
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While editing the size on my Halloween pictures, I noticed orbs in each of the photos I took. Several of the orbs are actually right over my body or very close to me and there is only one in each photo. I've never run across this in any of my photos before and the lighting was set up exactly the same as it always is. The only difference is of course, it was Halloween night and my had told me she was including my deceased brothers' first name in her unborn babys name early Halloween morning. I'd like to think that this is his way of letting me know he is pleased with the idea. What do you think? Do you believe in visits beyond the grave or was it just a freak of lighting?
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To link to this blog (rm_yurPhantaC1) use [blog rm_yurPhantaC1] in your messages.
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