Don't Even Ask !!
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Posted:Aug 17, 2008 2:24 am
Last Updated:Mar 16, 2021 4:40 pm
3732 Views
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Okay ... If you've looked at my profile, you'll note that I don't have a face picture posted. DUH !!
Yes, discretion is one of my traits as I don't want to cause grief to people ... myself included.
Anyway, I do have a picture or two ... fairly recently taken ... that depict my general body shape and look (except for some body-shaving I've started) ...
But ... You'd still like to see my face?
Fine ... UNLESS ...
If you have no pictures in your profile that can give ME that same overall idea of what you look like (in general), and confirm to me that I'd be interested in meeting you ...
Then first you need to "Ante Up" by sending me some pictures of you to put us on "equal ground".
Fair is fair.
Too many times people want to see a face picture from me before I see ANYTHING from them. And sometimes I NEVER receive any pictures in return. No More.
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Obstacles To Finding Compatible People
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Posted:Jul 5, 2008 5:17 am
Last Updated:Aug 26, 2008 12:07 am
3935 Views
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Finding compatible people can indeed be a challenge here. To me even more so as it seems the "Married Men" label I wear is one of the most efficient repellents that exists. (Maybe we should have some scientists study it and see if they can't morph it into a better insect repellent?)
I've listed below some of the things I've come to see as obstacles to finding compatible people. But, I think a general, overriding theme is just that we don't look beyond the "shell" that many people use to start a profile, to get a better idea of what they are like. We rule them out too soon based on one or two criteria, where we might just find them very pleasant companions if we took the time to chat more ... to ask questions ... to open up a little and to start that "trust relationship" with this complete stranger.
Obstacles:
People selecting the wrong options in their profile - like the one I found where the profile indicated she was "Looking for Men, Women, Couples ...", but her text indicates "No Men". (I pointed this out to her in an email, letting her know how it causes her profile to show up in searches as a match, and she should change it. Boy did she let loose on me!!)
** Lesson learned - Don't criticize, even in a helpful manner.
No pictures in their profile - This makes it hard to decide if people are physically compatible, even though I understand the discretion component. You can always mask your face in some manner and still give the other person a good general idea of your body style. Forget the choices in your profile. I've seen the use of "Average" vary so much it's essentially a useless measure. And, PLEASE, if you have no pictures in your profile, at least be willing to send me some kind of pictures before asking me for a face shot; something that will bring us closer to parity in this matter.
Not willing to look past one negative aspect - Have all of your other partners been perfect? Probably not. So then why do you insist on trying to find a "perfect" partner here? You may have a few things on your list of "negatives" that you don't want to deal with, but perhaps even they aren't the ideal criteria? (Perhaps there's a guy who doesn't have that 8" you'd like to play with ... but his other skills can be so satisfying ...)
Physical attraction - Sometimes we get to like people more so as we get to know them. I KNOW for a fact our perceptions of what is attractive can change over time. Do they have "a little extra" body mass? Breasts too small or too large? Not "well-endowed" enough? Too much hair? Not "model material"?
No connection - With some people, after you've started a dialogue, you sense "a connection", a feeling that this is a person you would like if you met them on the street somewhere. You'd feel comfortable with them eating at a restaurant or having coffee somewhere. You'd chat about common interests, building that two-way trust you've got to establish to get naked together. You sense they're ""good people".
Really want to meet - I've seen people gripe about not being able to find "Real People" in their profiles, and I can see why. Way too often people either shy away from meeting in person (even if it's just that "meet & greet" so many of us want before the action-packed meetings start), or they never have any intentions of meeting. I don't know what to do with them other than to just move on.
There are, of course other barriers such as scheduling issues, common desires in activities, meeting places, etc. All of which make finding those "right people" such a challenge.
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Submission - submitting oneself to another ...
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Posted:Jul 5, 2008 2:02 am
Last Updated:Jul 6, 2008 9:22 am
3930 Views
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Submit! - Such a harsh and foreboding word to hear. Yet many people actually choose to do so to the will of others. Why is that?
To submit (or be submissive) means to lose control of the situation, of your environment, of your immediate future ...
In the case of sexual things, it means either doing something to someone else because you've been told to, or allowing something to be done to you. Again, not because YOU'VE chosen it, but because the other person has chosen it for you.
I'm sure that word brings many different thoughts to different people. Perhaps a lady thinks of lying back (or being restrained) and exposing herself for his pleasure ... or bending down on her knees to please him in some way ... (I guess a guy would have similar thoughts, being asked to submit to another guy, or a couple ...)
What if a lady was the dominant one over a guy? What would he then be asked to submit to?
Would YOU rather be the one exercising the control, being able to do whatever you wanted to with the other person ...
Or, allowing yourself that "freedom" to be submissive, and just do what you're told?
(I guess the knowledge of whether pain was involved would play a major part in that decision. If there's no pain, would submitting be all that bad??)
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Just To Please Someone ...
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Posted:Jun 28, 2008 6:20 am
Last Updated:Jul 18, 2008 3:24 pm
3727 Views
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Do you sometimes (or often) find yourself doing something you really don't WANT to do to please someone? This could be an everyday act, like taking the trash out, mowing the lawn, or giving them a backrub ... or something sexual in nature, like oral attention (I've heard there are some guys that actually DON'T like doing this!!), anal play, or whatever. If you're bi or bi-curious, do you feel that way toward one particular gender, and only do what you have to do to get to play with the other gender?
I know I've been in a position like that. For instance, this one lady I met - she LOVED anal attention. I did it once for her, not desiring it beforehand, and still having no desire to do it again. I understand that area is quite sensitive and stimulating (for girls and guys), but I'd rather put my penis elsewhere.
But, I guess in the end, we do what we do for pleasure ... either to feel it ourselves, or to give it to others. That's what this is all about, isn't it.
It's just so much more wonderful when we REALLY enjoy what we are doing, and that also happens to be what our partner enjoys having done to them. That's a true Win-Win situation. (Any ladies REALLY like some oral attention??)
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The "Safety" in Married Guys
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Posted:Jun 25, 2008 12:20 am
Last Updated:Jun 25, 2008 3:57 pm
3843 Views
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Well, I see this is a twist on something I wrote earlier, but I'll post it anyway as it has a slightly different slant to it ...
You might not think meeting up with a married guy would be all that safe. I mean, there's this "fear of discovery" looming over his head (at least in most cases), and he brings that "baggage" with him. However could I say that he's "safe"??
Well, unless he just doesn't care about his home life anymore, he's going to be extremely careful about meeting with someone. You won't have to worry about him talking loudly in public about what he'd like to do with you "behind closed doors". You won't have to worry about convincing him to wear protection because he's as concerned about taking something home as you are. And, there's very little likelihood of him becoming so enamored with you that he turns into a "clingy pest" that won't leave you alone.
If he's lacking in attention at home, he may seem so appreciative of what you feel is just average attention from you. He'll probably treat you like he did others when he was dating, taking care to be "extra polite" and such. (That may be good ... or bad.) He may be hard to schedule with, but most likely will do his best to make sure he does get to see you. He may be more open to exploring some of your fantasies than someone that's usually all wrapped up in themselves.
Now, I'm not saying there's nothing to be concerned about. There's still his other half. But, if he's really concerned about protecting that part of his life, well you'll surely sense it in all the questions he asks ... the tight time frames for meetings ... and the desire to keep his private life private.
Considering all of this, there's probably quite a few situations where a married guy would fit right in, be a good match, and turn out to be that great Win-Win for all.
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Discretion ...
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Posted:Aug 13, 2006 1:59 am
Last Updated:May 11, 2024 11:37 am
3779 Views
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So, clue me in here ... If Discretion is high on your list of priorities, why not look for someone you KNOW would also value it very highly?
I mean, I know some people have made a choice to NOT see "cheating spouses" (That's THEIR label, not mine. I prefer "Deprived Spouses", or "Bored Spouses" ...). That's their choice and I accept it. (Heck, I also respect them for "sticking to their guns" once they've made that decision, but I do wonder if they hold to their guns whether the person is male or female ...) But, who better to keep things discreet than someone else not wanting these meetings to become known?
Who would you worry less about "cutting it off" with, a "cheating spouses" or a young guy who's found someone he really likes? (Hey - I'm not going to be the one you have to worry about stalking you, or pestering you for another meeting, or whatever.)
Just my thoughts on this matter of discretion.
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"Ample" ... "Average" ... "Athletic" ...
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Posted:Jul 31, 2006 5:26 pm
Last Updated:May 15, 2008 2:35 pm
3906 Views
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Okay, you selected "Ample" as your Body Type ... from the list of choices presented as:
Average
Slim / Petite
Athletic
Ample
A Little Extra Padding
Large
Just what the heck does "ample" mean? The dictionary says it means, "Of large or great size, amount, extent, or capacity". Based on that, I would surmise it to be more than "Average" and more than "A Little Extra Padding" ... it almost just means "Large", but we'll assume that "Large" is the top category ... and this might be a better order of presenting the choices ... or maybe there should be sample pictures, or body outlines to help guide people in choosing ...
Slim / Petite
Athletic
Average
A Little Extra Padding
Ample
Large
The problem I've seen is a few times I saw a lady use "Ample", and she was more of an "Average" lady ... possibly with "A Little Extra Padding", but definitely not "Large". I think some people may be thinking of "Ample" as an indicator on the size of their "stuff" ... It's no wonder these searches don't always work ...
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Posted:Jul 30, 2006 2:52 pm
Last Updated:Jul 15, 2008 1:41 am
3902 Views
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Okay, I'll be up front about this ... I'm married, but I'm on this site looking for others to enjoy sex with. There, that was a non-judgmental statement of the facts.
Why am I here? Because, as I stated in my profile, my sex life has reached a "dead-end" at home. The wife seems to be one of those you read about (or see on Oprah) whose sex drive has declined, and declined, and declined ... You get the picture ... She just doesn't seem to need it.
I've had my "discussions" with her (okay, arguments at times), stressing that sex is an important part of me, what I need, and that she just doesn't seem to need it as much or think that it's as important as I do. It just hasn't seemed to matter. Thus my terming it, a "dead end".
Now, what should I do about it? Well, I have some choices, of course, some better than others. Now, just to put things in perspective ... we've been married for a while (over 10 years is all I'll say), and YES, there are involved (how many and what ages is irrelevant here) ... so some of my choices would affect more than just myself and my wife.
Option 1 - Do I choose to leave the marriage and any ? No, that just doesn't seem like the right thing to do, as it would cause a lot of hurt.
Option 2 - Should I "inform" my wife that I plan to get my needs elsewhere? No, as this would just lead to Option 1.
Option 3 - Do I just "do without" (or just learn to accept masturbation as my "new limit")? Well, I'm not ready to accept that yet.
Option 4 - Do I seek to quench this desire with an occassional "cheating episode"?
So, here I am ... looking for a No Strings Attached (NSA) meeting ... just for sex ... trying to find someone ... or someones ... that are either in the "same boat" as I, or just want to "add something" ... not expecting a long term thing ... it might be a one time meeting ... it might be a few times ... but it could be an on-going thing ... but, it would still be "just for sex".
Call me a "cheater", if you must. You really don't have to justify your decision to not meet with "cheaters". That's your right to choose. (But, can you ever really be sure?) I still think it's my best choice at this time, and I'll just have to learn to associate with those people that are a little more understanding of my situation.
Sometimes life decisions are just not easy to make.
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Shaving ... Or Not ??
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Posted:Jul 29, 2006 1:18 pm
Last Updated:May 11, 2024 11:37 am
3781 Views
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Okay, I can Most Definitely understand that having less hair "down there" makes the giving of oral attention a more pleasurable experience. I mean, I sure enjoy licking and sucking on a lady who is "nicely shaved" more so than on one that prefers to stay "au naturel". (I've had to pick hairs out of my teeth/mouth before ... It doesn't stop me from enjoying the time ... It's just a bit of a nuisance.)
So, how do I best (meaning easiest, less painful, less chance of accidentally removing an important part of me ...) make myself smooth?
I've plucked (very good results, just too time consuming and tedious) and shaved (electric and triple-blade) on the loose items, and used barber clippers with about a #4 attachment to trim the surrounding area.
What I've settled on is using the electric to gently (VERY gently as it can nick ..) shave the hanging parts, going over it with the triple-blade afterward to get things "baby smooth" (some of your favorite lube helps the blade glide nicely). This has to be done at least every 2-4 days. (I would, of course, do it the morning of any planned meeting to insure I was "baby smooth" for my friends ...)
How do you others attend to this, or don't you?
I've wondered if it's even been appreciated as I can't recall any comments like, "Oh ... Nice and Smooth!!"
(Oh, well. Go figure.)
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The Stupidest Question !!
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Posted:Jul 27, 2006 2:48 pm
Last Updated:Jul 27, 2006 4:12 pm
3888 Views
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What seemed to me at the time (and ever since) was the stupidest question I ever heard ...
There we were .. this lady and I. We both knew why we were there .. to have a really hot time together. She's quite petite and slim .. with a large set of breasts .. my favorite style .. (well, I actually prefer small-to-medium breasts, but, sometimes a guy's just got to compromise ...) She's also quite active and expressive when it comes to these kind of activites ...
Well, we had just gotten "nekkid" .. and my "problem" had already presented itself .. (My "problem" is that I need very little stimulation to get excited to the point of an erection. Sometimes just the thought of the planned activities cause me to be erect by the time I get my clothes off. But, it's MY problem and I'll just have to learn to live with it ...)
She started licking and sucking on me (like I needed any warming up!!), and then, as we moved toward the center of the bed to recline and explore some other activities, she turns to me and asks, "Can I sit on your face?"
I mean, like that isn't the stupidest question I've ever heard ... (Well, at least when you're asking ME it is ...)
You see, I CRAVE to be licking at .. exploring with my lips and tongue .. using my finger to massage and very slowly penetrate .. pushing inward with my tongue .. probing with my finger for that "magical" G-spot .. massaging it as I continue my enslaught of her lips and clit with my tongue .. engulfing them and sucking them in .. teasing them gently with light flicks .. using the flat of my tongue to smother and slowly lick the area ...
Yes, I am VERY oral. I love to perform orally on a freshly showered lady .. to taste of her juices as they start flowing .. to watch her squirm and move as she enjoys my attacks on her ..
And, what the heck .. if she's slim and petite she can sit on me all she likes!! (If she's a bit heavier, well, I'd prefer to be on top with my head buried there ... still enjoying all the same activities.)
So ... If you ever happen to be in that situation with me ... You can ask me that question ... but, PLEASE don't be surprised at my eager response ... "Heck, YES!!" ... as I bury my face between your legs and (hopefully) bring you the pleasure you seek.
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To link to this blog (LuvsToLick53) use [blog LuvsToLick53] in your messages.
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